If there’s one thing that every relationship needs, it’s communication. Actually that’s not entirely true. You also need continuity, chocolate, cravings, class, cuddles…the list goes on. Luckily, C date had all of these. (And if there’s one thing you’ve noticed about my blogging trends on this platform they are anything but consistent.)
Despite my earlier assurances that C date would happen mid-week, life conspired against us, though it was no less C related (we ended up checking a work colleagues CV. Date worthy? Not really. C related? Fo’ show). Thursday, thus, became cinema night at Highpoint.
Setting aside any issues you may have with Maribyrnong’s finest shopping establishment – the ‘KnifePoint’ nickname, the special breed of Ed Hardy and fake tan blondes that collect at the bottom of the escalators like pools of stagnant water – it’s a perfect spot for a movie, despite a gaggle of late night shoppers making parking a little more intense. Even more so if your entertainment experience is funded by the generous birthday gift giving of a friend (Thanks Win!).
We settled on Due Date, a funny enough film featuring a rotund hairy Greek man and a guy who’s first acting credit was playing a puppy. The movie is done by the same guys who did The Hangover (which I found much funnier) and it certainly sticks to a similar pattern of scripting. The always on-point ‘Four Word Film Review’ had this to say:
Masturbating dog steals show
Bam. Can’t argue with that.
The continuation of C date came on Saturday, however the seeds for what was to come were sowed on a social Friday night dinner with some friends, and for that we have Taco Bill South Melbourne to thank. They have this thing called the Big Willie – a 2.5kg burrito. Eat that baby in 35 mins and it’s free. Now I’d love to sit here and say that I nailed that mince and bean combo like I was building a house, but I’m a colossal baby and that thing looked damn scary, nay, sentient. But the idea did things to Theresa, who was sitting at home at the time. Strange things. She was now craving a 1KG steak, something she’d always wanted to do.
The Craving C Date was on. Saturday was D-Day (or C-Day as it turns out).
But before we could get there, we had to battle the wonderful late-Spring Melbourne weather, which turned warmth into rain and usually calm drivers into crazy car maniacs. Road toll aspire-es negotiated, we were parked and relatively dry at Crown Casino, a booking in hand for ‘Steakout’ and somewhat of a wait before we could sit down and consume.
So how does one concoct ways to pass the time at The City That Never Sleeps? In our case, we tried to consume the worlds largest bag of prawn crackers.
Known as ‘Dragons Clouds’ (Nuvole di Drago) in Italian, these salty tapioca flower based treats I am sure will be my downfall.
Turns out that going through half a packet of prawn crackers is, while fun and a semi-nutritious way to pass the time, still didn’t get us to our arranged dining time. So next stop on the C date tour of Crown Casino was…the Chocolate Box!
I’ve sampled plenty of delights from said store over the years – the dark chocolate covered raspberries are a particular office favourite – but on this night we focussed specifically on chocolates that were somehow C related.
What you see here is a caramel bomb, a Christmas pudding, a coffee thingymebob, cookies and cream, cherry liqueur and champagne. How they cram all those flavours into one small ball of deliciousness is a magical thing up there with quidditch from Harry Potter and LOLCats.
Theresa, to be expected, was WELL pleased with the fruits of our labour.
Don’t worry, we didn’t eat them on the spot. That would have been rude, and some what self defeating given we hadn’t eaten dinner and Theresa was still craving steak at this point. A craving that had to last a little longer, with our table not ready for us for another 10 minutes. Hell, they may have had to reinforce it to carry the weight of such a large portion of beast, but regardless, we were left to fend for ourselves again. The result? Cocktails…
…and of course, people watching, a sport made even more fun by the fact that Crown became the landing spot for all the spillage from Sexpo 2010. We took this as a sign: there are many naughty things starting with C (chastity anyone?) and most of them could be found at said adult lifestyle show at the exhibition centre. C date was officially “on”, even if we never quite made it to the card table.
Dear reader, this is not a criticism of the attendees of said show, more just a reflection of the depths Theresa and I have now gone to ensure our dates are on message. I have to confess I did imagine something much more grandiose when I originally put this alphabet extravaganza to The Hotter Half, and while we’re not quite at champagne and caviar, I am proud of the dedication we have fostered, the shared committment we have to make this work.
But I digress. We have reached the culmination of our adventures: the challenge, the craving of giant steak. Warning: the following pictures may be offensive to some of my vegetarian readers. With that in mind…
Like the burrito, I sat this one out. The digestion of giant food is a mental as much as physical challenge, and the long wait on tenterhooks had done nothing for my state of mind. Theresa, as you can see, was unperturbed.
She did it too, by golly.
Theresa often asks me “Dave, why do you love me?”. Sure, it’s her caring nature, her beautiful eyes, her generosity and lovely spirit that get me every time. But being able to tackle slabs of meat like a NZ front rower and a willingness to watch action movies is always going to be a big hit with me. Love you Treesy!